Hello

I have a job that requires me to travel a lot. A few days before every trip I start getting depressed. I just sit around the house and think about my kids and how heartbroken they would be if something happened to me. (I'm not a fearful flyer.) The day I leave I am grief stricken and teary eyed as I leave the house whether my family is home or not. I am miserable the whole trip, with the plane ride away being the worst part, many times these are all day trips to Asia. WHen I arrive at my destination I am lonely and anxious, and every once in a while suffer from a panic attack, usually at night when I'm trying to fall asleep. All this time all I'm thinking about is my kids. I can't sleep, which is a result of jet lag and anxiety/panic. I have been prescribed .5mg ativan, which helps me get about 6 hours of sleep per night. Lately I've started to feel this way when I simply leave for work. I don't know if I'm getting these overly protective feelings for my kids, or what is the cause of this. I miss my wife as well but it's my kids that are constantly on my mind. This started a few years ago and is progressively getting worse.

I also have these irrational thoughts about people at my destination and that there could be some that are out to get me, not me specifically I guess, just danger in general. In the moment I am fine, but thinking about the trip this weighs on me a bit.

I don;t feel crazy, but I'm starting to think I am. It;s getting tot he point that this is ruling my life and Ive noticed myself getting depressed for a few days here and there.

I could really use some advice here.

Thanks