While I understand the belief and apparent logic of all of these suggestions about detaching at will--lessening # of sessions, trying to see the faults in your T as "realistic," distracting yourself with outside activities, lining up new support systems--my experience is that all of this is a defense against feeling the true feelings of loss and the need to honor the value of the relationship by taking a leap to increase the emotional intensity of the relationship.

I found that the only way to leave, planned or otherwise, was to fully express what needed to be expressed. To articulate the depth of my feelings for my T and the relationship and the joys and pains of the journey as best I could. My T's acceptance of, engagement with, and reciprocation of those feelings was the only way I could walk away whole and ready to grieve the absence. And a big part of what made it possible to reconnect later.