I am very emotional, I just found out this morning my father committed suicide. From what the corner says, it wasnt planned it just happened, he had no"regular" signs that they look for, I am confused, he was a happy go lucky fella, good man, an never left a mote, just pulled out the gun and did it, my uncle found him, dead this morning, it makes no sense to no one, we dont know what he did it for, but he did it for some reason, maybe i would feel better if i knew why, but we dont, Im at a loss for word, cant stop crying, I keep vomiting and my anxiety and ptsd is in full gear, what emotions can you expect with this? How do you comfort your siblings when he didnt tell us why, how do you find closer when you dont know wtf he was going through, Im very upset, I have to go through his stuff and legalities of everything, Im worried about my brother he is jail but on the pathway to recovery, what if i telll him and he backslides, how do I tell my children, do i tell them the truth or a lie, very upset feel sad idk what to do
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'A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left.'  Marylin Monroe
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