So, I am being forced to recover by my therapist and being threatened with medical intervention next week. (Which I don't want to have on my records)

I am hoping that if I enter recovery, my brain chemicals will become more 'normal' and I will be able to see with a fresh pair of eyes that my body is failing me; that it isn't normal to only use overdoses of laxatives to go to the loo, to have deteriorating eye sight and fine body hair at 27, having bones cracking all over, feeling my teeth move in my mouth and losing my fertility IS enough. I caught sight of myself in a sneaky photo my husband had taken and I look like a ghostly child.

I am newly into this recovery thing and it's so hard. My husband is helping me and my therapist of course, but gosh, I feel like my head has been split down the middle in half - and those parts are in argument with each other. I just have to just hope that the healthy side wins in my head.

Just wanted to put this on here in case others are in the same boat.