hello, Thank you all so much for listening and your responses..It is so hard to believe that someone you love so much can hurt you .I am trying to stay away and not return his calls or emails etc ,etc .I just hope this feeling gets better..I really feel in time I will be alright its just the waiting ..I miss him with all my heart but I realize that I miss the man he made me think he was and not the man he really is. he is a nice guy but as someone here said " not the man for me" I do wish him happiness . I just want the hurt to stop & I feel for anyone who has been through this ..take care bye 4 now