I think being honest with your doctors and therapist is the way to get better. I can also relate to not wanting to give up your security blanket. I find comfort in knowing I can have some temporary relief if things get to bad. It's not a good or healthy solution, but it is what I have at the moment. I hope you can stay strong and fight the urges and learn to deal with things in a more positive way.
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"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy."
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