Intergalactictraveler, listening to the song now, pretty good, thanks. Tom_X, sounds like you've been through some hell man. My thoughts go out to you. I'm struggling to let my old self die because I was so proud of it. I suppose it will all come in time. So many great posts here. I feel more at peace because, I finally found people that can relate with this feeling. I think the best thing I can do is live the best I can and stop mourning the loss of my old self. This is a chance for me to start over. Change my mood to a more positive one and hope for the best. If it comes back then hell yea, if not then learn to confident and self assured with what I do have. Peepshowgirl, I hope that we both get better sooner than later. Good luck to you.