... that keep being peeled back, such is the experience of the work that is done in therapy.

Just a week ago, I suggested to T the idea of scaling back on quantity of sessions per month and actually canceling session for this week. Yet, 'stuff' appeared and I'm actually seeing T 2x this week.

So, I think what I need to realize is that in the path to self-discovery, possibly there is no final destination. idk

I do know, though, that uncovering and identifying old wounds, wounds which are the source of some of my dysfunctional behaviors and painful emotions, I begin to feel more and more free, more and more authentic.

For me, whatever happens in the therapy room, whatever kind of 'magic' is performed by the therapist, whatever unseen, unrecognized internal movement occurs - all of that, I believe, would not be likely to be possible without the help of my therapist.

The mind is still a huge unknown by our scientific explorers. Sure, there are a lot of theories and sure, there is a lot that can be proven about what makes us 'tick' but the mystery of the subconscious and unconscious remains mostly a mystery. I suppose we can thank Freud for initiating the investigation into this realm of our lives and that there exist now bonafide research into this arena.

But, psychotherapy can be very frustrating, confusing, and painful. So often we have no idea what the hey is going on and we grasp for answers. But those answers are not easily attained. They belong in some kind of ethereal realm. At least that what it seems like to me.

Still,I believe, if we stick with it and 'trust the process', as my T has been so fond of repeating, we will attain what we seek. How? I don't know. I have no idea what the 'process' is. It is so dang mysterious.

All I know is that, for me, it works and continues to work. I wish I could explain it. I wish I could say "this is the path and here are the signposts and turn left here and next turn right".

I can't do that. It's an individual journey. But, for all of you who feel skeptical or discouraged, hang on. Because of my continual amazement of what is uncovered in my deeper psyche during my own therapy process, I will always be grateful to my T.

Of course, if you don't have the right T or they don't have the tools to help you, then you must seek someone more helpful. But given the right guidance, magic happens - yes it does. It has happened for me and my persona continues to unfold.