Wow...

What a dose of realism from all of you!

iamnobody, that was amazingly informative.

hamster-bamster, thanks for relieving some overwhelming guilt.

So, as things stand right now, I can respect her beliefs, without necessarily feeling guilty for my own physical feelings. Indulging on those feelings is another issue.

See the good in her, but don't put her on too much of a pedastel. See that she is human too.

Keep my word to her to stop the behaviour, and keep gratification of all kinds within our marriage, as that is what we both want.

Go through a period of spiritual renewal (confession to pastor, new rings, renewal of vows) which we have begun.

Speak to someone we respect about our problems. We've spoken openly to my father and her parents. They were supportive of our marriage and not judgemental.

Maintain my new behaviours without wallowing in the guilt of the past. It will just bring us down. Working on that.

Work on communication... Been working on that with counselor and through Gottman stuff, which has been helpful. I've struggled with expressing empathy and physical desire in a way that she needs and understands. She has had realy problems expressing physical desire and being overt about her sexual wants/needs.

And in the past two days she has rocked me with an amazing night between the sheets and her assertions that she wants me and wants to move forward!