I can't believe all the people on here that defend her though. I had legitimate reasons for not wanting originally to be with a woman with a promiscuous past and I was honest with her about that (very honest) and she decided that how she felt mattered more than how I did and lied to me. yes the years have gone and I know I am married to a good woman. [/quote]

Understand, we're not discounting how you feel. Of course you must be shocked...that's not something we expect you to hear and be like "Oh, cool" and move about your day. Our (speaking collectively, which may or may not be entirely comprehensive) point is that the bolded line, of which you're cognizant of, should ultimately trump the second part. Let us assume momentarily she did lie...bold face, straight out lied to you regarding this. Why is it you think she would do so? Have you considered the notion that she is, perhaps, ashamed this ever happened, and was scared of losing you? Or (respectfully, of course...not trying to spark a fight by any means) were you too concerned about the "implications" to you to consider the matter on her end? There are always two sides to every story. Additionally, there are few lives in existence that don't have their share of regrets. This, it seems, is hers. You are, of course, understandably angry that she would lie...that is a natural reaction, and I don't think you can be faulted for that. It's the bitterness towards her due to the act, not the lie, that is concerning to myself (and, again speaking collectively and under assumption, others).

Again, I don't mean this to be argumentative in any way...I am only trying to encapsulate the points made over the past few pages. Speaking for myself, and I think others, I/we simply do not understand why this revelation should cause an about face of your feelings towards her.

Hugs,
Harley