AinigmaRoja, nice to meet you. First of all, I like your avatar (Pinky) and your signature (Kerouac). Good stuff. I'm sorry that you're so frustrated. It's hard when we can't seem to break a negative pattern. Maybe if you printed out your post and take it to the therapist and read it to her, then she might understand a bit more. Sometimes therapist really miss the mark - not that they try to. Some people use written positive affirmations taped to their bathroom mirror, fridge, or wherever you can see them everyday.