thanks for starting this post, robutt. i used to have panic attacks, and experienced anxiety for ages, sometimes worse than others. i still have strong stress reactions, but those too are abating. what i thought was interesting is: i had never talked to anyone who USED to have panic attacks, complete with chemical terror, shaking, melting, crying and even wetting oneself, who then worked to change that into just freezing, as i have done.

i still have fairly severe agoraphobia, being unable to go out of the house without accompaniment. i go to the door, all forgetful and thinking, i'll just go out on the porch and check that (,,, whatever, take out the trash,,, ) and there at the door i stand. nothing moves. "reach for that doorknob" i tell myself. no one is listening. "move , MOVE~!" nothing. finally i understand that FREEZE won again, and i can turn away, put the trash back in it's bin, go lay down. i'm in shock, all the signs are there, cold, white, stupid (cognitively impaired). and the recovery time is similar to panic attacks... about 15 minutes if i remember to eat something sweet.

i really have never told anyone all of this, and again, i thank you, for giving me the opportunity to see what is happening to me , in words, in writing. if i could cry, i would be.


Gus