it is very likely that having a baby will make her back pain worse. she is also nearing the end of her fertility and the complications that could arise from the combination of her being 32 and already having a bad back and being on medication are numerous. adoption would be a better way to go, based solely on how hard it might be for her to even get pregnant, let alone carry the baby full-term in good health.

as for you, a child is a huge responsibility. if you don't think you can handle it, you need to let your partner know. she will need your help with the child, obviously, and if you're not 100% on board with this then she needs to know right away.

i'm not even going to get into the part about sex with other people, because i couldn't be in a polyamorous relationship even if i tried. nope. that might work for some people but that just would not work for me at all.

as for self-sufficiency, wouldn't that require you to be able to be self-sufficient on your own as well? meaning you should be able to handle being on your own? not very self-sufficient if you still have to rely on someone else. but that's just my personal view on it.