Hi Cornflege,

As an asexual, I can assure you that asexuality is a legitimate thing and if you feel that it describes you, you might look further into it. I've found the models of attraction put forward by the asexual community to be extremely helpful to me in my own life, and it sounds like you might benefit from it too. Here's a pretty simple breakdown: Attraction - AVENwiki

The takeaway is that it is possible to want to have sex with a person of one gender, want to touch and cuddle with another, and be romantic with yet a third group, and so on. For your typical heterosexual person, all of the attractions happen to be for the same gender. Sometimes, though, that's not the case, which is how you might get someone who is asexual, but desires romance with men, and tactile intimacy with women, for example. It's also how you could be asexual and male, sensually and romantically attracted to women, but have a fetishistic attraction to men.

It might help for you to look up definitions of the rest of the asexual spectrum too, as you might find terms like "gray-asexual" or "demisexual" to be useful to you.

And of course, there's Dan Savage, who would probably call you heteroflexible. :B