No need to be ashamed, though the inclusion of ammo is worrying-- is there a way for your husband to situate the scene so that he might be able to convince you that there is ammo in the gun when there is none? Theatrics can go a long way, especially for the top/dominant, and being aware of those tactics could likely more than compensate.

There is a name for what you're into, though, and you are far from alone: Edgeplay - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia