Have you considered therapy? I find it helps with my depression and sometimes she asks questions that are insightful and make me re-evaluate my thoughts or beliefs. To me it sounds like you are suffering from depression. Anger is common outlet for depression, especial for men. Medications help some people and I have tried some and they help. It is difficult to find the right one and the correct dosage. Therapy can help you challenge some of your thoughts or beliefs that may feed into your depression.

I've checked myself into a hospital before and it is more about personal safety then healing from my experience. If you are having suicidal thoughts or a serious urge then you should do whatever you have to be safe. Being in a hospital for a few weeks is a lot less tramatizing to a family than a suicide attempt or worse completion. I hope you find some help and relief from how you feel, it is out there.