I remember looking in the mirror just after the last anorexia hospitalization which wasn't even as bad as the first time.....but I looked like my 96 year old grandmother who was dying of alzheimers....I had more wrinkles & looked absolutly horrible with the straw hair.

I do hope your wise mind wins out.....my first time dealing with anorexia, I didn't want to live....but why throw your good future away.

The results of overusing laxitives is that your body will stop functioning without them....they you end up with a colostomy & having to carry around a bag with you all the time.

It would be really sad to look back on your life in 20 years & say...."if only i hadn't.......".....the choice is yours NOW.....there is no such thing as "it can't happen to me" when we continue to destroy ourselves physically.

Keep thinking about your future & focus on what you really want to do & be......& if you don't want to be dead....focus on your recovery.