I'm sorry you're under such pressure & find relief from self harming...I did the same when I was younger, so I understand. Just an idea, despite your busy schedule, why don't you take that baseball bat out to the batting cages & hit 100 baseballs/softballs; or, get a golf club & hit a few buckets of balls at the driving range. I find doing so helps relieve the pressure I'm under. I don't mean to sound dumb in suggesting this, but it really does work.