What is it about "him" you love? I cannot really imagine, from your description, how you could feel that close to him to be able to love him?
I would maybe try working on myself and my needs in therapy, that you would be that strongly attracted to someone that does not sound like he's giving anything back. He has to care for himself, which it does not sound like he's doing, before he can care for you and sounds like he's going in the "wrong" direction to change at the moment.
I would try something other than dating/being in a relationship, get to know myself and what I really wanted first; I don't think you should be that concerned about someone else who is not concerned about themselves, over being concerned about yourself.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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