Thank you Bonnie and Rose. It is so nice to come on here and read thoughtful concerns. I am ok now. I was not feeling so well and had to visit with two doctors this week. Luckily they both agreed to decrease my medication so I think I'm starting to feel better knock on wood. Today I haven't gotten dressed but I am up and about.
It's been a roller coaster ride, but the funny thing is I'm learning to fight everything and not be such a wimp. I want good memories for my kids, so I'm just sort of taking one day at a time and absorbing them as much as I can.
My mom is always on my mind. Is hard to forget since everywhere I look there are reminders. It's depressing at times, especially this past week, but I've come to realize that what's done is done. I will be sad and I will cry but I need to be a family now with my children. Life is so short. I don't want to be bitter anymore or have bad thoughts. I just have to have faith that perhaps when this baby is born my mom will have some heart left in her to come and visit at the hospital, god willing I make it through. If she doesn't, well I guess I will deal with that when it happens.
I spent this past week so sick just thinking how much I want to live again and just take care of my children. I want so badly to be normal again. I updated my father about my condition and he seemed concerned, I'm sure he will tell my mom everything but I kind of don't care anymore. I appreciate that he wants to know but it's only because I go to him or call him.