They say sobriety can be a little rocky around anniversaries. I say that is true for me. The last few months have been a little rocky in my personal life. Not because I want to drink but just living life on life's terms...not always easy on any day on the year. One foot in front of the other or on some days, "one bleeping foot in front of the other bleeping foot" Yeah.

I keep having wild, fantastico using dreams. The kind that make me sit up in bed, some nights in a cold sweat or even from a nap, just screaming. Alcohol is always there in some shape, form or fashion. So far, I've come close in my dream but I haven't taken a drink.

You know what? I am so the alcoholic! I'm more aggravated that I don't get to drink in my dreams than with the fact that I'm having the stupid dreams. Maybe that's the challenge I have this year...not picking up in my dreams!

And then I think, "how grandiose is that kind of thinking?" Who am I to think I have any control of my subconscious much less my dreams? The dreams will subside and come and go as most alcoholics know from experience. Struggling for a reason why is kicking my butt, I guess I'll just let it go.