I found this to be very interesting, thanks for the post! When I was in therapy with my xT, I had massive paternal transference, and I couldn't see it, so I didn't leave. He was CBT and I had attachment issues and his rationalizations were invalidating. Now that I have a different T, he is able to help me in a compassionate, kind way and has flexible boundaries. He validates my emotions. All of this has helped me feel more centered, and I am more myself.

1Step, I wanted to address your reply about your T holding strict boundaries. This is a case where I think that you aren't being helped by them, and I hope you can discuss this with your T. It has been difficult for me because my T is allowing me to email him over his vacation. If he hadn't, I would have been preoccupied by not being able to contact him. I am so much stronger than I used to be thanks to him knowing how to help me. I haven't emailed him yet and it has been two weeks (doesn't sound like a big deal,) but I have gone through some intense emotions and have not been compelled to email him, instead, I have felt safe enough to work on things on my own. This had taken time and it has taken him being flexible with his boundaries. To me, he is trusting me and at the same time still allowing me to have him as a safe base, so I am working on things at my own pace, and I am FREE to do so I hope you can talk to your T, 1Step.