I wonder if the OP never worked on what happened to him when he was younger, never dealt with the issues that left him scarred? Instead of working through them, they gave him a slightly skewered outlook of sex. (the anger, the wording like promiscuous and the set-in-stone allowance of sexual past for his chosen bride). The problem is that it probably isnt other's outlook and now the anger, disgust and original issue has all come to the surface again when the line had been crossed. Sadly I think he's taking it all out on the wrong person - his wife. I guess it will always be like that until he deals with it.