Honestly, are you really sure that you are a true narcissist? I mean there are plenty of personality disorders that have attributes of grandiose ideals of themselfs. I have a strong history dealing with narcissists and the fact that you care at all about losing a relationship makes it hard to believe that you are one. In fact just using the term relationship makes it hard for me to believe. Say for example you had said I lost the person that gave me everything that I ever wanted or I lost my dreams of being married or having this or that. A narcissist doesn't care about a person they only care what the person can give them. If you went to someone and they diagnosed you then I would double check with another professional. If you do I would let them come to the conclusion without suggesting it first. This is really important because if you want to get to the bottom of what is going on with you then you have to be correct about what the issues really are