{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hamstergirl}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I understand you not wanting to go to a nursing home. I'm really young, but I have chondromalacia/osteoarthritis. Some days I can have so much pain! Having a disability of any degree gives someone a perspective that others can't truly understand. If I were in your position, I know for positive that going to a nursing home would only make me more depressed and upset! I hated the feeling that I couldn't always do things that others could with ease. It still bothers me that I can't play with my kids the way I used to. Instead, I have to ask my older child to help the younger one climb and crawl through the playland. Here I am so young, and I honestly don't know what my future holds. I don't see much how a nursing home would help you mentally at all. There has to be a compromise that you and your doc could work out. Curious...have you ever printed your posts from here and shown them to her? Maybe she'd better understand. So often people are more expressive with their emotions online than in therapy. I really hope you do okay. And I hope your pain lessens--physically and emotionally. Don't take these questions the wrong way, but...How do you feel about your own abilities? If you were happier and more at-ease, would you consider a nursing home for care/rehab then? Could it be that you are afraid? I'm sorry to ask, but I'm trying to think of ways to help you, no matter how small.