Mara, I don't have any advice for you. I think what H3rmit had to offer was good, if you can do any of those things. I think you have a good plan, getting outside employment. I'm all about distraction, and there's nothing more distracting than an 8-hour a day job that completely absorbs your attention. I don't know if your at-home jobs provide enough of that. At least with an outside job, you are forced to interact with other people to some extent. I know for me, if I worked from home, I would be a total hermit and probably go for days without going out even just to get the mail. It would be very bad for me and I'm just amazed at how you do it. You sound so rational and wise when you post, even when you are expressing the turmoil you feel. You seem very strong to me and able and willing to do what you need to do to get better. That's big.