I don't think there's any such thing as a *****. If you've been sleeping around, that doesn't make you a bad person. I hope you've been safe about it though!

You aren't stupid. No one is stupid, although we're all capable of making stupid decisions sometimes!

I've typically had multiple groups of friends - some who can handle me when I'm depressed, others who can handle me when I'm hyped up, and others who I'd spend most of my time with in between. I found it helped me not destroy my friendships quite as quickly, because each group would know a different side of me. Have still managed to push away a lot of friendships though.... and it stinks. Big time.

Maybe your friend has some stuff going on in her own life right now? Sometimes people need to take time for themselves, it doesn't mean she cares about you less or doesn't want to be friends. Give her some time, don't pressure her, and re-establish contact in a gentle way (and maybe try to not ask her loads of questions, I have most certainly ruined friendships by obsessing over issues!). Was your suicidal episode the first time she was aware of these sorts of feelings you've been having? Sometimes that is really hard for someone to learn about, because they don't understand and aren't sure how to relate or be supportive.