I think you are overdoing it.

If she pulled you into it, why do you do even more than required? You do not seem to have your own interest in this kind of lifestyle, but just go along with her wishes. So while you say that you tell her what to do, in reality she tells you what to do and you are doing even more than she told you to do.

To me, it makes zero sense, but I am not familiar with the lifestyle in question.