Thanks for responding. When I am at session and an alter wants to talk at session (which happens a lot lately) I can hear them but if I do anything to ground myself they go and I become present or someone else who is more stable. The one who was present falls back. I do not know how to take an emotionally unstable alter and ground myself without having the emotionally unstable alter leave. Grounding allows my protector alters to become present. I have tried to figure out how to ground myself with an unstable alter present but I can't figure out how to change my system. My t has said that my system worked for me when I was in trouble but now the way we protect ourselves impedes our progress in therapy. Because my system has rules on how to behave and if we can't follow the rules than we can't stay out. So we are not allowed to attack anyone or smash things or stomp around the room. But we also are expected to present in a certain way when we are out. So this really mean guy that I have can't be out because he talks in a deep voice and says mean things to the rest of us. How he presents is not acceptable behavior when out. This way of doing things has kept us at work and out of a hospital. Part of me don't want to change the rules. When he talks I feel embarrassed by how he presents and don't want anyone to see or hear him. I think this is a major reason why some of my more extrema alters don't talk in session. This may also be why I don't find a way around the rule. But as I write this I can not think of a way to start this type of change in my system. I don't know how to ground myself, and be able to have the alter that needed grounding, to remain out during session. Thanks again for your insight.