I would vote for marriage...for me there was something deeply satisfying and necessary to building a life together, having children, a home, being part of a couple. At the same time as the years have gone on and I felt less emotionally and physically bonded to my husband, I have developed a relationship, a "boyfriend" outside of my marriage. Neither of us want to leave our marriage so that's not an issue. I would be condemned by family and friends if this was known, but noone would understand the precarious hold I had on life before this developed and how stabilizing it has been for me. Yet at the same time, marriage has provided me with much the same support for 30 years.