Hello ~ Do you know WHY you feel "self-loathing?" Was it something from your childhood? Were you constantly told you were "bad" or something?

It would really be a very good idea to go into counseling, my friend. In order to know WHY you go back to those bad feelings you need to know the cause. And you can't find the cause without help. It usually stems from something in our childhood, but not always. So have your doctor refer you to a good therapist. He would know the best therapist to send you to.

If you cannot afford therapy, STILL talk to your doctor. He can help you. I would also advise you to post on the depression forum too. You do seem to be quite depressed, and the people there can help alot too.

God bless and please take care -- and PLEASE let us know your progress, will you? We DO care. Hugs, Lee