So, I've barely tapped into CSA stuff in T over the last couple weeks...and ended up having a rupture with T which took a few sessions to work through. I'm still a bit hesitant and cautious - and have been struggling outside of sessions to manage bouts of intense panic attacks.

I finally decided to discontinue group T, and I'm feeling pretty awful about it even though I can name a dozen reasons why I'm glad I did it. I am overwhelmed by all that is going on there and can't handle it, so I set a limit and made a decision. Yet, there is such anguish that goes along with that decision because it is a huge loss for me as well.

Anyhoo...

Night time is my worst time. I am consumed with unexplainable anxiety, and it is pure torture to get to sleep at night. Last night was particularly difficult, and I ended up emailing T to tell him that I am not ok.

His response this morning was, "What do you need right now?"



When you're spiraling out of control and have no idea what you're feeling or why, do you have an idea of what you need?