Quote:
Originally Posted by riotgrrrl
I wonder if the OP never worked on what happened to him when he was younger, never dealt with the issues that left him scarred? Instead of working through them, they gave him a slightly skewered outlook of sex. (the anger, the wording like promiscuous and the set-in-stone allowance of sexual past for his chosen bride). The problem is that it probably isnt other's outlook and now the anger, disgust and original issue has all come to the surface again when the line had been crossed. Sadly I think he's taking it all out on the wrong person - his wife. I guess it will always be like that until he deals with it.
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I have no issue with 2 people in love having sex responsibly. I take issue with any other type of sex. Yes I had a terrible introduction to sex, but the only thing it left me with is a very clear understanding personally of what I deem acceptable and what I do not. I only wished to marry someone who held these same values. I was given the impression by my now wife that she felt the same way. I have recently discovered that she led me to believe that only to keep me, but now that she slipped up and I was able to learn the truth, she has come clean and I know now we have very different views.
I certainly do not wish to relive my past issue with sex and yes I have over the years dealt with the issue. I also became comfortable with my wife and thought I knew her sexually. Her lying to me has brought all of this to the surface and for that she is dealing with how I feel right now.
Her having to deal with it is deserved. That is what happens when you lie and are caught. You hurt others by lying to them, and taking others trust for granted, when they find out you have to deal with how it made them feel. This is why I deserved the truth 14 years ago. She took that choice away from me, so however I feel now, is how I feel now. I don't want to feel like this but her lying has caused it and now she can deal with me getting past it how I see fit.