Thanks for the feedback.

I ended up emailing T back telling him that I need to figure out how to deal with the craziness I feel, especially at night. That it's an overwhelming anguish that I can't seem to figure out or get rid of, and it destroys my ability to get any rest. Nothing gets translated into words. It's just stuck, and I can't seem to break through whatever barriers are there.

I told him that I came up with over a dozen reasons in favor of leaving group, yet I feel horrible about it. I'm scared that he's going to hate me as much as I hate me. And I just want the craziness to stop.