I did it. I've been thinking about doing it for a month or more now. I sort of know what I'm hoping to get out of it...but not sure I could communicate it so anyone could understand...

You know how something happens.... you act a certain way...its like your pattern... then you realize your pattern and you decide you want to do it differently... and if you can't undo it you just don't want to view it as "a failure" or another one of the times you screwed up"... So I'm hoping to be able to "reframe" it...think of it differently...

I called my xT. He said I could always come back. I asked if he had any appointments. Not sure ....maybe a big mistake and it may not but I won't know if I don't try.

ETA: of course I will have to wait for his response, that is if he responds... but I'm not upset or panicky or anything about it (yet)