Hypersensitivity in total makes sense because we get to a point to where we are so on edge and fearful of more negativity and invalidation that it becomes a part of our automatic response(s). Our self esteem has taken such a blow that it is really hard to not react or pull away at the first sign of "trouble". I think that is why after all the traumas and hurt, lack of self esteem and coping skills (tools in my personal toolbox) from almost a lifetime of feeling like a doormat and totally crushed, that is when I just completely isolated.

I was receiving so much negativity, I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed people away... I didn't want to deal with it / them / the pain anymore. Even if something was fairly benign, it hurt and I felt defensive and didn't want to hear it. At all.

The lack of kindness, understanding, compassion, empathy from others (esp people that seemed to be impt in my life) was stunning. And my fuse was short. My tolerance level was almost nonexistent, so to protect myself, I isolated.

The one of two new "friends" that I did meet while all this was happening ... at first I was really hopeful. I thought I might have found some healthy, supportive people but they turned out to be jerks. It hurt. I finally gave up altogether.

I was really committed to my homework that my T gave me. It was a worksheet that I made about 100 copies. Everytime an "incident" would happen relating with others I would fill out the worksheet.

The worksheet was comprised of about 6 columns:
1. The Incident that triggered me ("Situation")
2. "Automatic Thought"
3. "Emotion"
4. "Alternative Response" ( I have a separate reference sheet that I refer to)
5. "Outcome"

Working on these in the beginning comprised of multiple entries daily. And after the week's end, I would share copies with my T.

After awhile, though, the "Situations" became less frequent, my "Automatic Responses" were more positive as well as associated "Emotions". And the "Alt Responses" were less self-focused and hurtful directed at me (old negative destructive tapes in my mind) and more about the other person and their motivations and actions that actually really had nothing to do with me.

I have a 6" pile of worksheets that I saved. I put them in a folder and when I referred back to.them after about a year, I was able to see how much my thought process changed for the better. I wouldn't automatically default to the painful stuff. The "Alt Responses" (Reasons / Their Motivations) became more focused on them and felt less painful and hurtful to me)

It helped sharing them with my T because the beginning of the work was the good, bad and ugly. Minus the good

But I definitely saw a change over time. For.the better. And even more wonderful, I started cutting myself a break and not being so fearful and hard on myself and others. Actually, my focus on others opinions and actions became way less impt / top of mind. I didn't internalize so much and their stuff wasnt "first" anymore riddled with self.defeating thoughts of what I did "wrong". It took off a huge nirden!