My wife and I have a wonderful marriage with 2 children. I have recently discussed her past and in doing so the story changed. It involves a date rape that occurred prior to our meeting. she has never told anyone of this but myself and there were some details of the occurrence that she shared with me many years ago. She never received any help to properly heal from this traumatic event. In our recent discussion I realized how she blames herself for this happening. I asked her why and she says she does not know. I asked her what happened that night and now she says she can't remember anything. She said she only remembers the two guys. Problem is the details (minimal details) that I got from her years ago only involved one man and now there are two. She claims to not remember any of the event its self.
To this day in our marriage, she is unable to discuss anything negative with me. She won't criticize me, she won't voice any dissatisfaction with me about anything and this bothers me. I want to make her happy and if she is not willing to let me know where I fail from time to time, I have to realize it by myself and fix it by myself. I have asked her about this many times... She is also unable to let others in her life know if they have upset her. She bottles all negative emotions up and locks them away (her words).
When ever I have anything to discuss that can be construed as negative in anyway she shuts down and if I press to have a conversation she shuts down and eventually just ends up crying.
I love her deeply and want to see her learn to deal with things as they are and not feel as though any criticism is the worst thing in the world.