I have been talking to a counselor concerning depression. I am on Lexapro and have discovered that it lowers work anxiety. I used to worry about what my manager thought of me a lot. I want to feel more confident at work but I come off as incompetent because I hesitate too much and say things like, "I think..." when I know something. I have discovered that Lexapro even makes making phone calls at work easier. I still worry about costumers getting mad at me or thinking I'm stupid at times.
I complained to my counselor that I can't recognize faces. She thought it might be social anxiety. I am very unused to hearing her use that word anxiety to describe some of the things that I talk about.
I have to pretend to tell someone that they were rude to me for cutting in fromt of me in line at the grocery store for a class at school. I started crying about this. My classmates think I should do this because of my desire to try to be more assertive. I am good at public speaking. Although Lexapro is confusing me in that I am even calmer for that. I find that weird. I have always been nervous about public speaking. I am used to it and good at it. Its just that I don't like to tell people things like "You were rude to me." I have a hard time asking for more hours at work. I am now finding that I jipper japper at work. I use the anxiety as a reminder to control my tongue. How am I suppjosed to know when to shut up? I think the me with less anxiety talks too much.
I told one of my teachers to let me know if I jipper japper too much. I find that class interesting which makes me talk too much. I had noticed a few years ago when I tried to stop playing with my hair/pushing up my glasses a lot that these behaviors decrease anxiety levels. So I gave up on giving up the behaviors. I mean they don't bother any body. But, I have been wondering if my anxiety is what is messing up my ability to think more positive and act more competent at work. My counselor has tried to encourage me to do some things of lower anxiety. This puzzled me because I do those already. I just can't do the harder stuff. I sometimes get tongue tied when I try to ask my assistant manager for some time to finish a project that I couldn't finish the day before. She thinks its cute. I find it frustrating. Could I have an Social anxiety disorder in addition to depression? I might try asking my doctor about this. But she gets judgemental of me which makes me have trouble thinking clearly.