I feel for you. I just had this conversation with my therapist today. Sometimes I just feel happy(rarely) and I'm the person I want to be and most of the time I'm struggling to find the happy place. I'm anxious, stressed, it's a constant battle. I have to do a lot of self talk to change my perspective and put the positive, happy thoughts in my head. You can't expect it all the time but it would be niceto have that general sense of happines, wouldn't it? I hope you can find it.