No, you are NOT all those horrible things you said. My God, working 90 hours a week? Now, I'm sure you realize that you two COULD have lived a simpler life, without all the bells and whistles that you had, so you didn't go into such debt. I always wanted much more than I had, but I WAS much happier without all that DEBT too! Trouble is, now that my husband has died, I've had to charge more than I've wanted and Im struggling to pay off a $4,000 credit card on Social Security and a Pension. But, I'll survive.

Back to you ~ Your wife SHOULD have tried harder to help you pay for all these extras that SHE WANTED. If they were so darn important to her, she should have gotten a 2nd job! Since YOU were working 4 JOBS, why on earth couldn't SHE work more than ONE?? Is she SPECIAL or something? Evidently SHE thought so!

No, I don't blame you. You WERE wrong for the affair -- nothing allows you to do that in a marriage, as those vows are just that -- VOWS. But that's over and done with. She wouldn't go to marriage counseling with you? That's HER bad. Obviously, she was afraid of what she'd hear.

I'm glad you're in therapy. I'm sure it will do you a lot of good, my friend. You've been thru a lot. I've been thru therapy too, during an abusive marriage, and believe me it worked. Stay in therapy -- you'll be glad you did.

At least try to stay civil with the ex for the sake of your precious daughter. NEVER trade harsh words with your ex in front of your daughter -- you have NO idea what effect it will have on her. My parents fought ALL the time in front of my sisters and me, and it followed me into adulthood and made a complete MESS of me. But of course my parents were both alcoholics too. Just stay civil, ok?

Best of luck to you my friend. And remember, you're a good person! Please take care of YOU. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee