Do you mean change as in orientation?
As hard and painful as this whole thing is I don't think that things will be any easier if you choose to be with a man instead of a woman. I really think that some time outside of a relationship might be good for you. Maybe try to learn to just be comfortable and become familiar with yourself. You might find that you actually come to like yourself and then with some time you might find a safer more mutual and healthy relationship. I hope I'm not overstepping and believe me I know it sucks!