Dude - seriously, you can stop doing this to yourself. But you are the only one who can. We can encourage you, the therapist could support you if you let him, but you have to decide you are worth taking care of. This acting out is just likely to lead to more shame and guilt and unhappiness for you. Not whomever you are doing it at.

And (in reference to your other post) sometimes an apology does not fix everything. I know that sounds harsh, but acting out and apologizing and acting out and apologizing eventually will not cut it. This does not make you a bad person, but there are consequences to actions.

Can you possibly just see if you can stop trying to destroy yourself for little periods of time - like not smoke fake weed or drink for the next 30 minutes, and that you will eat something - crackers, toast, a banana. And if you make it, see if you can do another 30 minutes or 10 minutes. If not, then try again.