i have done that too. for a couple years. i search because i feel like even though i know whats going on ...its still like i feel that i dont ACTUALLY know whats going on with me. schizophrenia is so variable between individuals and all doctors dont agree on things and diagnoses can change. i look in my past and it clearly shows i do have it but i feel like dont sometimes. most of the info out there is extremely general for what ACTUALLY goes on. any good info would be in forums cause you talk to real people. i mean ive read the general descriptions on many places but they dont really detail the reality of dealing with it and actually make it sound "crazier" than it actually is. most people couldnt recognize many Sz people in person even if they talked to them. the symptoms could be that subtle. i actually realized that i dont really truly know whats going on with me. sounds funny. but i know the description and have an understanding of Sz but i learned its extremely hard for me to recognize in myself. sort of like someone telling you to change for the better and you know you need to and everyone points out specific things about you but you dont even know what the heck is wrong with you from your own POV. uou cant see it in yourself.

i learned i had to partly accept that i cant recognize everything in me. that helped me stop looking and also doing other stuff besides using the internet.