Ouch, please know that just because you are seeing a "specialist" does not make you "crazy" or less of a person! I have been to a psychiatrist and it is much more matter of fact than a psycologist. They ask you what kind of symptoms you have what types of feelings you get. It's not so personal. This person is a professional and will work with you to help provide the best treatment path. As for depression, it is not "mind over matter" as you say, it is an actual MEDICAL condition. What happens is your brain either doesn't make the happy chemical (seritonin) or it has a blockage in the receptors so it can't accept the seritonin. I would urge you to not quit your meds without talking to a medical professional. You may feel ok now, but it might begin to get worse (the biggest risk is that you may become suicidal). I have been taking anti depressants for 3 years now, and have also been told I will have to be on them for life. It stinks to have to take a pill every day but think about diabetics... they couldn't go off thier insulin or they'd be putting themselves at serious risk. (that is how my psychiatrist explained it to me, not a weakness but a medical disease). I wish you the best of luck!