JJee,
I'm sorry to hear your life is so turbulent right now. I am not familiar enough with these conditions (except bipolar) to offer good counsel. As you can probably tell, the psychs are a mixed group. Some of them are able to really listen to what's going on with you, with your wishes and dreams and hopes. My wish for you is that you find those psychs. Hang on to anything that keeps you going.

Mike