AB, your post hit so close to home I had to leave and come back later. If you've never been in t, you can't possibly know what it's like. And unless you're strongly attached to T, you can't even try to imagine what it's like to be terminated and abandoned by T.

I think it will take a very, very long time to build trust with a new T. Aside from that, do you think she is trustworthy? I mean, those alarm bells aren't going off for good reason, are they?