I am so sorry you feel this way. I feel it a lot too. I tried drawing and it calmed me down for a bit but as soon as I stopped it all came back. I often think about being in the hospital so I can escape life for a while and people won't hold it against me for skipping out. This overwhelms me to think about being a mother some day, a responsibility that I can not escape.

Remember though, that you feel this way because of your mood. Hang in there. It goes away.