People generally mean well, I think they not only don't understand (many do, not in the same way someone who has had the same problem, but in knowing their own problems and how they are impacted) they often think they are helping by trying to get you "out", ---and, I believe it scares them a bit too, they have their own anxiety about not being able to fix things and not understanding...
we all want things to "make sense" and be "ok"...we are all in this world together, your friend probably thought she was doing a good thing---ah well.
hang in there, it's a long ride---------and I think of a line from Down By Law---"...it is a sad, and beautiful world."