I can totally relate to this... whenever things feel too stressful or frustrating, I go and get my favorite tool and I just hold it. Knowing that the possibility of SI is so close is agonizing yet calming at the same time, if that makes any sense..?

Omg yes and finals bring the worst urges for me. Throw yourself into studying, that might help? That way you're productive and distracting yourself from SI.

I completely relate!

- AJ