I know it doesn't feel like it right now but no one is going to kill you and I don't want to see you hurt yourself. You have so much life ahead of you and they are working on depression and psychosis every day. I know you don't trust science but maybe one day they will figure it out? Do you believe in God? I feel like we were put on this earth to learn to love other people and you have your dad...you don't want to hurt him...